Hard to be Both

So maybe you saw, but I was super honored to be write a story for Back Fence PDX. After all, they inspired this blog, those beautiful women with their literary sensibilities.

The theme this time was Fish Out of Water and I asked Melissa if i could write because, really, I’ve spent pretty much all my adult life feeling like a fish out of water. I figured there had to be a story in there somewhere.

My not-so-secret secret is I like to shake things up (see: change junkie). I left Fairbanks Freaking Alaska to go to U.C. Santa Cruz. I showed up there, blinking, without a friend in the world, wearing ACID WASHED JEANS. Talk about a shell shock. It was exhilarating and, although I made fabulous friends in college, there was also anonymity and the ever-present possibility of reinvention. And I really liked that. So I kept moving.

So, as I’ve mentioned, Mike is looking for a job. And given that Portland is a small market and what he does is kind of specific, so there’s been all this talk about maybe moving. And as much as I love Portland (it’s home) I also love the idea of a shake-up. I have this idea that it takes strength of character to be able to pack up and move some unknown place.

But maybe we’re not moving after all. And I realized last night that not moving is more daunting than moving. And that digging in and putting down roots might even take more strength of character than moving every few years and starting over.

Small example: This blog. I haven’t decided what to do with it, really. And the whole domain might have changed if we packed up and moved, right? But the idea of being in limbo has made it easier to put off making any decisions or putting in much effort. See how it works?